Back ground Info: Big Organization, with branches all over the country, has internet with chatting facilities. One guy, and a babe in a totally different company…………..welcome to
Memoirs of a playa online volume 4
hello there, some how your name came up and it struck me, pls could you be Mummy Smith's relation(coker road)?
5 days later
hi, sorry was out of office for a few days, hence d delay in replying ur mail.
Am her son to b precise.
where do u know her from?
Well if i may say that she is one of the kindest women i know, I’ve only met her like 2ce but i know a lot about her , cos my younger brother and sister is actually being housed, bred and buttered by her right now!
She has been to me like an answered prayer as my siblings moving to lagos was of great concern to me but alas
man proposes and God just does what He does bets by taking care of them through Grandma.
So as it is you must also be as kind hearted as she is hence i could not help sending the mail when i saw your surname, BONG!!!! it literarily rang a bell...
ur broda and sista, being housed by her rite now?
hmmmm, cn't recollect, and last tyme i checked, na only my people i c for house.
don't know about being kind hearted, cos i cn't mirror myself.
anyway, today is actually her b/day, will ask her about it,
doubt if she would remember sha, she too get plenty "children" outside i.e. people that like her naturally, but hw come u came about me mail addy?
Sorry had to go out marketing,1stly you addy came up on the long list of forever being forwarded mails and I sighted it.2ndly my brother, boye or Gboyega and my sister, Temidayo stay wit her. Didn't know today was her birthday cos I spoke with them at home this morning but on a more serious note I didn't know she had an Gideon for a son or is this your second name?
Gboyega? Temidayo? same surname, Abolore, abi? ok, i will ask her.
well, people call me Gideon, family tend to call me olajide
wait did u say, coker road, Orile? lol
ok, dats my aunt, not my mum. lol
sorry about d mix up
then its bros Ayo and Bankole u would know.
now that's more familiar,Gideon was kinda odd!!
ok, but i guess its my aunt in Orile u meant
Sorry to bother you but I've gotten so sick of all these forwarded mails I actually don't even read them again but as it is, it was on one of them that I got ur addy.
I find it frightening to imagine the number of pple my addy could be exposed to just by forwarding mails... not to mean anything but it's kinda crazy.....
wat you think?
yeah, i know what u mean, but its a two way tingy
u send mails to friend, they 4ward to their other friends
other friends send mails to ur friends, they forward to u.
but then spammin, and other forms of malicious intent can come out of such,
Well, u can't have it all, just have to b careful.
so, what unit u in ur office?
guess ur right but i just tire to dey forward mails....
am the company's domain manager for d western region.....(plenty grammar?)
wat do u do in ur dept?
domain manager? hmm, sounds pretty cool, well,
am a credit person, u know, analyse loan applications and recommend as appropriate to senior mgt.
ur surname, Abolore? not sure how to pronounce it, but i know its Yoruba, what does it mean?
ok, cos u in Ibadan, dats y ur bro and sis are in lag, guess ur hussy is based in ib too. plenty kids?
I actually laughed and I know soon all will laugh with me....
well it's pronounced aboloreeee (its a mouth full).
now that picture is cool, but the real deal is dat am not married
and just got transferred to Ibadan from Kano 3wks ago.
no kids yet though... but wait a minute why am I telling you all this!
you could be a serial killer all I know
so wat's your side of the story
let me guess...5 kids and a lovely wife, house on the beach, obscene bank acct, country home on the Swiss alps …………blah blah blah
lol, nice pix of me too, esp d bank acct and houses. sum cool imagination u got
but got none of dat yet, work in progress sha.
well, i aint no serial killer, well, maybe a former serial playa. lol
but me think, me have quit d game.
am just a fun lover, love to c tins from d fun side of life, serious when needed
( but no good idea of when dat is)
but u dey njoy o, from kano to ib, soon, it will be paris, then from
paris to london, then to new york, hmmm, too much igadun
u on facebook? add my yahoomail, email@example.com
let me c d pretty face attached to d gbogbo bigs gal
well i don't know 'bout gbogbo bigz gurlz, but me am just me!
well yeah i had a good stay in the north except for the riot part but i truly miss kano...
former playa hmmm! very interesting..why'd u quit the game? u got bored or u married?
anyway my email addy is firstname.lastname@example.org
but pls don't scream in horror when you see my pics as u've been warned, u are OYO.
oshomo, was that like ur nickname, someone must have really picked on you when you were little.
not married yet
quit d game , cos can't b a playa4life, been there, done dat, and was tyme to move on
funny enuff, oshomo is my nick name, had a group of friends in sec sch, we named ourself like dat,
in dat order, u knw, amechi - ameomo, doyin - do doomo etc ....lol
but mine stuck d more, esp since i love to write ,
then again it represents d crazy, naughty side of me.
U sent me a nice Christian just now,
Ok, ok I've read I'll pass it on
but what if I was a Muslim you never asked...
nah, i know, u aint a muslim, but dats a guess, one i think i can safely make.
and if u are, well, .......would not b a bad idea converting u
well you won't need to 'cos i already met with Jesus and He's been very humorous with me.
Sometimes He tells me to do things and am like pls Lord not me plssss, does it happen to you?
P.s you still haven't told me you're not a serial killer nor how your kids are nor how many or could they be like....10!
Uncle brother J, got my back
even though i can't say i do d tins He wants, when He wants, and how He wants,
but, we still rollin and coasting togeda, cos no friend like Jesus.
as per d humor, dats my way of life wit Him,
puttin smiles on faces is His major task 4me, and i love it
serial killer? kids? stay tuned, hey check again, I have sent d response to dat already
but won't b a bad idea to come stake u though.
u know, have a stake out, outside ur home,
......maybe, if lucky, directly opposite ur .....be..r.....m...,...,
hmmmm, ....., well, lights, camera , action,............lol
( don't mind me o, just joking o, no offense intended)
funny is an understatement....can i call you?
morning omoge, how was ur nite? dream of me? .......lol
ba yawa , got no problems with u with callin,
BUT....... mtn netwrk is very bad here , in my office,
y i left it there on my sent mail since people can't get thru?
well, my work involves contact with plenty bank marketers and their wahala can b too much,
u know, tryin to extract info , influence opinions and all dat,
so instead of saying i can't give dem my numba,
i gave one they would sweat to get thru on.
well, u can try calling it if u feel like......lol
u want my personal line i.e. zain? i only give it to special people
or u wait till am out of d office b4 callin?
ur choice, ur call,
so omoge, classify thyself
if you know wat's good for you u'd better give me your zain number or else......
hmmm, naija women, couldn't u have asked more romantically,
u know i have a fragile heart u come dey threaten me on top,
i almost pissed in my pants.
and again, u come take style dodge classification,
alrite now, ok o,all correct
i kuku decided to make u sweat small...........hope u loved your maths teacher, else, u go sweat plenty
d below is my zain number, two numbers are not stated clearly, u would have to figure dem out by calculating,
08022 (45-35+25 divided by 5, times 7, minus 49) 7 (101 times 102, divided by 2, divided by 51, minus 1, minus 100), 888
u have to calculate for d numbas in d bracket
and abeg, tale a pix or urself, while u sweat on it..................lol
n.b. u didn't confirm me on facebook, added u last nite,
u still battling wit d maths ni?
were u d one dat called my mtn wit a glo numba?
dats ojoro, sheatin, cheatin, expo, dubbin, wuru wuru to d ansa , u wan dodge d maths abi?
hmmm, lazy girl
men you harsh o is it 'cos i din't ask politely? well for ur info i almost failed maths so am so sorry but i can't unravel the myth better i give you mine but infact you already have it i called 'cos i couldn't do the maths.
my email addy is email@example.com
see ya cash ya lara.
Later dat nite, Via Text
Is dis ur zain number? It was to ur mtn numer I sent a txt
Yels, last tme I checked
What are u still doin awake by dis time?
Well, slept earlier, I now woke up hungry
So what will u eat?
Dunno, am out of indomie and groundnut
Na wa o, shouldn’t u’ve a girlfriend that would have cooked stew to put in d fridge, and warm to eat later
Rats are by now njoying my turkey stew, it got spoilt, since nepa is messed up and I can’t leave the gen on when am nt arnd.
Pele, d pix just became more grim
Well, guess garri and sugar is d only solution for nw
damn, what’s dat?
Well, its way past my bedtime, am off to bed, gd nite
Ok, slp tits, dream of me o
Dream? I dn’t even knw what u look like
Hmmm, ok, put d dreams on hold for now
Ok, gd nite
Lol, lazy bum bum ni e o!!! u no even attempt am
well, its all good.
hw ws ur nite? hope u slept well
any dreams? i have ur email already,u only need to confirm me, cos i ve already added u on face book,
and i saw d pix of one sweet lookin chick like dat
d lovely face of western region, abi?
nice day dear
hello you!! so what ate you for dinner last night?
what ate me? hmmmm, mosquitoes,
would have wanted sumtin else , more interesting to do d eating, but ,
guess can't always eat me cake, and bake another one
ole what else would you want to eat u if not mosquitoes as u've refused to get rid of them.
what do you look like self, me am a mix of Jessica alba and Angelina jolie......am ablast!!!
also how old are u sef , I could be chatting with my school son for all I know thanks to technology.
Jessica alba and Angelina jolie, hmmmm, cool, nice, very nice
can i have ur autograph pls, yes, on my back, ok, lower, ...lower still, yes, yes, on dat place that is more fleshy.
am def not ur school son., cos i was too......... .to have had a school mother,
she fit don go get belly. lol
Name = Gideon Smith aka Oshomo
Apperance = i look like my papa, only younger, cuter and sexier.
Sex = 3 times daily
Age= well, old enuff, early thirties
Addy = bigs boiz hood
occupation = i occupy a seat in one place like dat sha
Hobbies= writin, reading, dancin, and kissin
and u? whats ur 411,
bros i am trying very hard to act like a boss here but I have smiles curling up my lips in both corners
my staff will be wondering that what’s making the witch laugh!!!
u are just too much!!! really I can't help myself.
Name- Funmi Abolore aka fine baby
appearance-mother's photocopy with daddy's colour shade(chocolate brown)
sex- male and female(hermaphrodite)
addy-newly moved to ibadan.
body type- OROBO PEPSI
occupation-sales gurl of western region naija
hobbies-singing, dancing, swimming, movies, reading, sight seeing (nature lover), workaholic.
state of origin-kogi
best feature-my lips(lovely if I may say so myself!)
psyche-fun loving and jovial, can be introverted atimes though.
p.s love love love music
orobo pepsi, hmmmm
lovely lips , hmmm,
want me to ,....rule ur lips? and kiss with pride? .......lol
now u got me thots on riot
and me imaginations runnin wild.
let me not into temptation, ....... i can find it myself
Na u sabi! That wasn't my intention far be it from me to lead you to temptation.
Yes o! I be OROBO proper. You no give me all ur info o,sitting there dreaming 'bout lips better stand down 'n get working..
infact I shouldn't lead you to temptation 'cos you can find it yourself.....
You must have been like that predator thing stalking and killing gurls in you playa days!(hope you seen Arnold's predator movie)
But you know once a dog always a bingo, are you sure the deliverance was complete? me am in doubt o
Hey, bloody hell just did the maths now 'n found out the numbers u were putting me thru was actually zero!
ur such a joker.......
clap for thyself
but am sure u used wuru wuru to d ansa, remember, i used d number to text u last nite
anyways, u just won urself breakfast wit me.
but, please note, breakfast is by 5am, my mansion , sundays only
dress code = wrapper, towel or nightie
and nah, was neva a dog, too decent to slump to dat level,
am just a fun lover , who believes life is too short to be bored, lonely and unhappy.
was neva a predator, there was no need to be one,
my gentle, innocent looks attracted plenty,
my naughty nature made sum stay longer than they wanted
my wild side got me into plenty trouble sha
anyways, am lepacious in stature,
i club once in a while, and i love to dance, am a social drinker, don't smoke
am not an outright extrovert, cos sumtimes i could be annoyingly quiet and incommunicado,
guess dats my way of balancing my two sides
5ft 7, i think, na ruler i use and d tin don break
i do light exercises mostly on weekdays,
i eat when hungry, pounded yam is my favorite, and i know how to prepare it
my cousin stays wit me in my apartment in Ikeja
believe me I didn’t cheat, I actually took the calculator 'n did it 'n was furious that zero was the sum total of all my struggle.
P.S I've not stored ant of ur numbers yet.
breakfast with such dress code is the recipe for disaster, 'n me thinks I should avoid such for now....
lepacious and still exercises...that will power me, I jog in the mornings too.
so ur now claiming to be able to hold them down 'cos u be don Jon, abi?
good thing you know how to prepare ur best meal, so you can go ahead 'n make it for two.
bros na ur cousins dey stay with you or na u dey stay with ur cousins?
I club like once in a millennium or whenever I get the chance, well its like.......you know.......I mean.....like me too I be social drinker o but I like to form alot outside but behind closed doors????????!!!!!!!!
am actually enjoying all this chatting, infact getting addicted. I like the fact that you sound like a wild and crazy somebody, me, am very down to earth and simple, though with a wild side
which I keep strictly under lock and key, as it'll be unwise for me to unleash the dragon.....
but all in I like the fact that we get along.
i was actually thinkin of ways to still b online on d company's network after close of work,
maybe carry d network go house sef
cos i look forward to ur mails too
me? wild and crazy?, ......well, maybe na only mouth i get sha
so come and see4thyself, ,first hand view, front seat row,
a trial would confuse u
wetin do d dress code4breakfast, y is it a recipe for disaster?
abi, na dinner gown u wan wear for breakfast ni?
oya lie,……. u go don baf b4 5am? and no b wrapper u dey tie to sleep ni?
dis is breakfast dats u get to be served straight from d bed, and after wards, em....em....em, back to bed, well, not alone dis tyme sha......... lol
if u pay d rent of sumwhere, and 3 mths after asked ur cousin in move with u,
who will b said to b stayin wit who? oya ansa,
u drink? dats cool, which ones? shepe, paraga, awopa, e-fa-too............lol
u know, since u do it behind closed door, it can't b red wine or beer.....lol
simple with a wild side? under lock and key? unwise to unleash d dragon?
kilode,?y u dey dull thyself young lady?
hmmmm, we need to unlock ur potentials, do u want me to take u under my wings?
well, ok, i no get wings, but u can still be under .....sumtin sha........lol
well done bros,
I got ur mails and believe me I don't want you to confuse me o!
I like the simple life though, I was surprised you called me dis afternoon,
it's nice to know that you could actually used your initiative.....
"I was surprised you called it's nice to know that you could actually use your initiative..... ""
YEE ORI IYA MI O,......... oh, i mean,
whatever it doesn't matter
bros i gasto go now we'll continue by txt ok?
i don go.
ok o, catch ya later
Later that Nite, via Text
I was joking bout ur initiative stuff o
No offense taken, else I 4spank ur bum bum
Don’t u dare…………..
Ok, u scared it will deflate. Well then I might have 2kiss bite u
U’re just terrible.
LoL, nah, am just fun-lovingly naughty
So what is eating u or is it what are u eating4 dinner?
Custard and akara
Dosed off………didn’t know I was so fagged out
Pele, need a massage?
If it will help, yes.
It will help, but I might go off track and end up stuck between 2 hills
U n ur mind, I’ll need bleach to clean it up 4u
To be continued.....................
To be continued.....................